Change over time?? may be...may be not!

So today was a little different than usual. First,lets recap. Last december I went to Downtown Dallas and as fate would be I got a packing ticket worth 30 bucks ! I will never forget seeing that luminous green envelope stuck on my windshield! I wasn't really amused about it based on the fact that I overstayed the office by some 15 minutes. I had put in about 2 bucks in the meter so I really didn't expect it to run out. However, my lawyer is Italian and she is the real definition of bubbly! That woman is so bubbly for a lawyer. You know how lawyers have that tough look that says they are very serious and will really "prove their case"?....yep that look. Ms C. aint like that and thats one of the main reason why I overstayed cuz she also talks too much...

So today I decided I wanted to ride the train pay $2.50, no gas used, no wear and tear on my ride lol... and ofcourse not risk getting a ticket. The last time I rode the train was in 2003...it's been 4 years and the trains have the same damn smell.....ok why why??? There
were other things that caught my attention: There was a mama with 5 kids and they looked like they had just come from swimming or s'thing. The train is like a bus...2 seats then the middle aisle. Kids were seated over 3 seats. Technically there was an extra single seat but as soon as the train stopped I wondered why the white gal quickly damped a bunch of sweaters on the extra seat....ok....kumbe there was a black dude entering the train and yah he didn't get the seat....wait... as soon as the train made the NEXT stop within 3-5 minutes and a white dude ingiad the girl chucked the belongings and she was happily seated next a fellow white jamaa. Anyone from Dallas will tell you its a very friendly city. Until today I was yet to see open racism or so may I call it. The girl was about 11 years old so imagine by the time she gets to 20,30,40.....she is getting from home...don't you think? It was such an automatic act and the mum did not even butt an eye for her to move the stuff away....that's the way life goes...mwana wa nyoka ni nyoka.

Things took a turn when 2 meth infested white jamaas ingiad the train. I aint hating but that was trully something beyond coke...beyond coffee, beyond parkinsons...beyond coke again and yah beyond weed...lol....Haki that was a "Video" moment. I was laughing hysterically cuz men! One of the jamaas for real his mouth and eyes were twitching with an interesting well coordinated rythmical movement. I felt as though I was watching puppets or something..God that was some funny shit...and that's why the damn trains will never stop stinking...the meth infested dirty people who ride in them day in day out...no day jobs...just riding the train. I am so not looking forward to my next train ride.....

Pass them balls

Yesterday was sunday and yes I am a christian. Well I am not as committed as I can, but I try to attend church at least once or twice a month. Yesterday was exceptional because it was a sad preaching but also made me laugh. For starters I woke up with a lot of negative energy. I donno why but sometimes when I get a call from my last ex I feel like I wanna strangle a 1000 chicken. I just donno why I cannot stand that boy. He knows I don't wanna talk to him so why insist on calling me up. I hadn't talked to him in 2 months and then he starts the whole convo of missing and shit. I hate that. I know I disappointed him cuz I told him unlike him who misses me, well I dont miss him. I don't even wanna see his caller ID on my fon. Now, one of my friends happened to be on the receiving end and I decided, ah it would be a better idea to go to church and calm down my nerves! It was a last minute decision so I fikad church about 20 minutes late. Lakini, si better late than never?



The preacher was gonna talk about "Healing the land" I must admit it was an unusal preaching because he showed us a video/movie/documentary on the Fiji Highlands. The documentary was about 30 minutes long. He just did an intro and then a conclusion sort of statement to his "preaching". It was nice overall. Now about the documentary... In the Fiji there's my favorite people- the tribals..ha ha ha...yah remember the ones I talked about a while ago who do the "primitive" things?Nudity really ranked high on my charts. I know y'all got screwed minds ati thinking we were watching the sagging boobs and supported dicks in church...ah no! But what caught me cracking is that, by as late as 2003, if the tribals went to war the enemies killed or captured would be eaten...what the civilised call "cannibalism".LOL! Now here the drama starts- Imagine you went to war, captured say 10 men. We are going to assume only men are captured cuz in the Fiji lands women don't go to war its not like America and other civilized nations which have "equal opportunity" laws and have discriminative laws. he he he. God I love primitive-no wars for life!



So anyway 10 men. Right away what I thought as the tape was rolling was, which part would they prefer? I am a kyuk mama and some parts of the goat meat are only eaten by men or say in a hen only women can eat the kidneys. U feel me? So now I have a human carcass and now begin to wonder.......do they fight for the balls? I mean that's as much a man can get- dare u to eat 6 pairs of balls with chopped dick to be crowned tribal chief..he he he..we can hand them over raw and juicy, smoked or well made. So jamaas one after another yelling- pass 'em balls! stack them up.....who's the maaaaaaaan! pass that flava!



I am beginning to wonder may be I should hit that land....but on second thoughts I am not too willing to walk around bare in the name of blending. Hell my boobs won't even match up to the natives...they need alittle more stretching and appreciate the role of gravity to blend in. Plus they might suggest an easier way which I guess would be hang 10 kids on my boobies every day to sag them out- he he he...not a very brilliant idea..ah well I am still shopping around for tribal stuff...if you have shows that you enjoy and they have a tribal stint in them let me know.

The baby aint cute!

Ok so its been a while since I updated this joint, but it doesn't mean there is nothing to talk about. Actually lets say it this way...there's lots to say. So ofcourse the Texas Lotto is the hardest thing to come by. Its so hard to get any cash from the damn thing I don't even play it...let me rephrase that. Back in the day u know in Kenya how they used to have those competitions and draws splashed all over the Nation. Omo, Kasuku, sijui Kimbo yep and the winners would get a grand prize of kshs 500,000, and the other little prizes like hats and t shirts. I guess I must have sent in more than 100 applications over the course of years. The thing is, my dad was a faithful newspaper subscriber. He gave all sorts of reasons-it improves your English, Updated info.bla bla bla. I always wondered kwani what's the radio and Tv for? I will have to admit however I always used to sprint to the nearest newspaper vendor to see if it was my lucky day.Getting to the vendor was 2.30 mins...back to the house about 30 minutes. Yah cuz the mofos would print 2000 names on one page and there I was tryna figure out if my name was part of the micro print.....Finally I saw the light..it knocked me headfast LOL! I will never forget reading from the King James Version, book of revelation, chapter X- Reality 101..conveniently in red..."gal don't u get it?? You're doometh to worketh for a longeth timeth." I must say that was the devil's voice.he he he. I woke up first thing in the morning and checked out King James.. and to there's no "gal" in that shakespearean bible version. So u can imagine the relief..ha ha ha... Shetani is the only one who gives us negative thoughts....ah well some one has to take the blame. Whatever the case I decided not to rely on so called lotto tickets and winnings. My fate is decided on whether I can probably come up with a state of the art revolution that will send me into "early retirement".

Now, I will have say like I've always suggested at my work place, the fellow mamas suck. I absolutely hate the child talk. Why does every damn woman feel the need to talk about their kids to everyone?I don give a fuck whether your kid is attending summer camp, visiting kenya, taking the bass/piano lessons. I mean fer real. Dont get me wrong- I dont hate kids but I easily get tired of listening to women who keep thinking their child is the only one born on that hot summer day. Yaani this mamas want to talk about kiddos its like mshuto meen! You know how if you have to shuta you cannot hold it... its there....them they have an ever present need-to-talk-about- kiddo mshuto. I will have to say as a mama bila kids, so called child talk I want to talk about it when I get there. I only need the info when I request it... Stop feeding me with kid BS. Stop lying, there is nothing sexy about baby x's diapers, or the ones who are born and they are TRULLY not cute. There's nothing as painful as seeing an ugly baby being branded "aint she/he cute"..ok seriously do we have to go there? Imagine dealing with kid BS before you get your own and when u get your own.CRAP! So mamas with kids-Humble request- If I dont look pregnant, or I don't ask about your kids or I dont have a kid tagging along with me-Please dont talk about kids. Enough is enough. When are women bila kiddos going to Beijing??LOL!

If by any chance any of y'all work with majority males..count your ass lucky dammit...men are bila this chronic problem ..yap cuz among many things-"child talk" will make me request the "golden handshake" p-r-e-t-t-i-e p-r-e-t-t-i-e quick!