My Tribal nature

I think I am a tribal negro...Yah..I know what y'all think...I am this person who never dates beyond their tribal inclinations...ah well.

First let me first say I love that TV show tribal life. I mean how are those men able to hold up those dicks? What is that they tie around the poor thing?..hahaha.. Like really I have always wondered. I love the basic life they live and it looks like 17th century life but it actually amuses me.The only thing I dont like about it is the women who don't have any bras. I hate to say this, but sagging boobs going to the waist are not appealing. I am straight but I find it unsightly. One more thing-I always wonder since the men get to see the boobs all the time, when they have to have sex, is it just a matter of seconds cuz there is no foreplay? I mean the kids suck on the poor boobies all day, and the men probably dont wanna suck on boobies that feed the young ones. I donno the hygienic status or is it freak status? Do they know they can suck on them boobies or are they afraid cuz they have been exposed all day?.hahahaha....I think beyond what I see...in other words I love culture and I am ready to know something new about cultures esp the ones westerners regard as primitive.... its ok for a civilized mama to try and see the "primitiveness" of a different culture...ama?...

Back to my tribal nature...I am a kyuk mama but I will have to say I love Luo men. Not that I have dated any but I find luo men very eloquent and they are just charismatic. I donno whether its the luo thing of wanting to be the best, but the brothers from the lake got their tongue captivating my mind. I find the luo language interesting. I love the stress of the r and words ending in consonants...wow...I just like listening to them luo people talk.3 years ago I did a multicultural class with emphasis on the Aztec. ...Ohhh I loved that. The world is just amazing. I had a portfolio of different pictures taken that would show the Azteca's similarities with current spain. The buildings were quite similar, the shrines...amazing...then that school instructor refused to give me back my one valued posession.... all the same I was not so enticed by the spanish language or Azteca to be more precise..... I would however want to visit that land. I want to go close to the deep culture....I would like to see the stone henge....

The British-One word.....I love that accent.That accent is.....ahh....it's wassup!

Now I have been wondering what has made me have a crush on 3 merus and subsequently gone out with one. Then I figured.....it has to be the same thing.The language ...nope.... The teeth and dark skin combo. A dark dark brother with white teeth appears like they just came from pluto...I donno but I tend to like people with good dentition. I like the combo but that does not over ride the one guy I thought he shoud have modelled. Why lie he happened to be a light skin brother,about 6 1',kyuk, with the best dentition ever created by man. Did I say he also had 2 topaz studs. The brother was just f-l-y and I mean it ask all my friends.....then nigga decides to jet back.I was heart broken but...its a life you let people be....he would be giving Boris Kodjoe serious compe and I had to say beckford aint got shit on him.Damn the brother was fine!

I love cultures.....I love being tribal...but I keep my bra on!

Break to Focus.

In recent months I am increasingly getting pissed by the above statement. In fact I hate that statement. I am tired of men who say this statement. So today I went to a wedding and I met one of my old girl friends. She is in her final semester of her Masters. I mean gal got it going on.She happens to be very pretty too and you would be surprised she's 28. So anyway I'm talking to home gal and she says that she hasn't seen me in a while. She goes further to ask whether I have a dude now...well u know the old adage of people tend to disappear when there's a new person in their lives... but anyway that's a story for another day... so I ask my gal about person x who she was seeing..Home gal says they broke up with the boy in December....the main reason was the bwoi needed a break of 2 months to focus.

Right there and then my hate for the above phrase re suffices. She tells me she asked him what I have always wondered. Why the hell would a man hook up with u, knows your level and then "request" for a time to catch up and refocus. I see it as a man who is in either of these 2 situations
a) Has found another gal.
b) Act dumb enough to think he needs to focus as though he didn't know where the gal was "level wise" when they met.

I have had the same statement delivered. It ain't my fault I tried to do what I had to do early. So for me when I meet a new guy my question is " where are you in terms of your goals? Are you focusing at this time,trying to focus or are already ready to have another full time job(a relationship) as you continue focusing? Dammit ask me my level. I am also tryna get to another level so please if you feel a "level" below when we meet, how about try and catch up before you even attempt to ask me out. See I really don't care about levels but of course men think a woman with her shit or say better shit-read education,$$ etc as a threat. Please! men want an intelligent woman, educated,who holds down a decent job,pays her bills but when the platter is offered the brothers chicken out....and that's another reason why I will never try to figure where the hell men came from...really!

In other words bwois trying to halla at me and they don't know where they stand "level wise" have been having a really hard time...cuz oops I pass.Sorry guys I am not ready for another statement close to I need a break to focus!

Dirty market of punjab.

I will rant and rant and rant.Ever worked in a public company that feels like a privately owned antique shop? The workmates feel the need to go above and beyond to keep the stocks at bay...to keep the money coming...keep the profits in.There is alwayz this son of a bitch who makes your work feel like a guatanamo bay camp. If lucky enough to uphold this environment the son of a bitch is usually doing it with the help of 2 to 3 other motherfucka's who will kiss ass.The kind that is willing to use a long pipe to get drunk on liquid stool..u see how gross it gets?These little bitchez have been working at the joint for a while.They know the material that was used to reinforce the company's kitchen during the last renovation done about 20years ago.They can even tell u the minimum amount of tissue paper the facility needs to be at optimal perfomance. U see these bitchez know their workplace. They are so nosy and that's how they swim across the oceans. They know their fellow old hags and they know who's who, they know the fine details of every individual's insurance policy.....let me break it down like this-these ho's as they are need a job..a real job. Welcome to the world dominated by fucking old Indian women. I miss the days I used to work with men. Everyday was pizza day u feel me?

Lets assume the world shot all these little bitchez in the ass and we had to have them in the hospital...it would be a living nightmare to be taking care of these bitchez.Its called an over turn of power. These bitchez would rather die trying to go next door to find out what color of grand mother panties the fellow ho' is wearing .

I had to rant....vent -rant- vent- rant whichever works better.Lo and behold the day is coming. Nitalipuka kweli kweli. I will make sure they know this young gal has a voice....and oops it stings. Sooner or later I am fixing to change jobs or better still careers. When it gets to a point where you are pushed to the edge its time to rethink...time to make important decisions...time to know what you are and are not capable of handling... and I feel like I am coming to a close end..very very close..

The weekend after Mavs Loss...a spanish dance!

Let me start by saying I have had a great weekend in totality. My week started crazy.I had some bad allergy stuff so I didnt work on thursday...which means on Friday I was off. I had a good night out Friday then saturday was D day.

I went to Dukes on Friday with my friends. This is a bar with a large patio where people just chill and pass time.I had the opportunity to drink free sprite cuz apparently non drinkers can have any non alcoholic drink for free...I love that. free to enter...free to drink...doesnt get any better can it? They closed at 2 and 2.30 , the whole group decided to go one of the pals house where one of my pals jamaa (bf) decided to give me a drank :)- u know that buy u drank song by T pain...... I mean really I hadnt really drank any alcohol in like 1 yr, then I sipped on a couple alcoholic drinks...just sippping. The following day will be remembered the whole of this week.I had a serious hangie like crazy. I woke up , took 3 advils and a glass of water and back to bed. I repeated the same routine 4 hours later and soon it was time to get the saturday night going.

Practically summer translates to 3 main events ALL the time-graduations,weddings and cook outs if not baby showers. All those winter "warm ups" come with a cost. There are just so many kids born over the summer its amazing. So anyway on saturday...sato as we call it, one of my friends was graduating and so I went for the party. I was there for about 2 hours of which I had to leave so I could watch the Mayweather-De La Hoya boxing fight. Needless to say, I was supporting De La hoya, who I have been a long time fan. Last week I already had a major heartbreak. I was just about healing until I had the wounds unravelled. One of my friends warned me I am in for a surprise if De la Hoya wins. He went a step further,advising me to protect my already broken spirit by "crossing the bridge" and support Mayweather. Well, you know once a die hard fan always a die hard fan. Fans dont quit on their team for whatever reason. Oh gracious I wish I did. I mean De la Hoya did alot of nothing on the ring. How do u explain all those thrown shots with less than 30% landing? Aint that crazy? Yes and after all that he walked away with 25 million bucks...yes 25 million bucks. Me?.....ah something close to I was ready to drown all that disastrous weekend in something.

I left the house party where the fight was and went to a local joint for a chill out. If dancing was my professional career, I would be earning may be a million bucks in an year. I mean really. I love dancing. So I danced my troubles out, this night back to my usual no alcohol outings. I had the spanish dance. Ya'll I danced with this spanish guy but he actually would have passed for a white dude and let me confess I have never been challenged on the dance floor like that by a non black person.really.... That guy would go the chini kwa chini thing like crazy. He was a great dancer and I let him know that. It takes me a while to tell someone that but I surely think he deserved it..men! a brother could dance...I dont "meet" people at the club, I dont drink and so a good day to me is when I dance myself out or better still I get a good challenge...that was a good memorable night... and thank God I crashed tired, forgot my heartbreaks and was ready for another day, another week.....

Mavs

I have a special interest in sports. To be more precise I am very passionate about sports. Sometimes I take games very personal. I am a mavs fan but yesterday was a great turn around. This series against the warriors has really changed my perspective about mavs. It seems like Dirk Nowitzki cannot carry on the fire into playoffs. He worked so hard during regular season but only to lose in the first round of the playoffs. Now that was beyond description....embarassing. It was crazy. He did not show a hunger to win. He let the mavs down.
Needless to say, thank God I had sort of turned off my need to get a win from them. I was actually surprised they won game 5 Vs warriors in Dallas. However, I think it was better not be given a bad beating at home,infront of all the faithful 21,300 fans who had shown up on that day. I will still remain to be a mavs fan but at the same time I hope Mark Cuban does some serious revamping of the whole team. I'm tired of watching an unpredicatble team,I'm tired of supporting them....I am ready for my other love football....I ADORE football.
Football has a great sense of energy it instills in my system....I have played high impact sports so I feel as though I'm out there running the football field. I cannot describe how I feel about sports, but all I know is that its part of me.....its my life and I am not willing to give up that part yet....its an intangible love, one that I always protect and seek to keep for a long long time.

Life Life Life

I work in the health industry. If not familiar with this world, there are some serious privacy laws that apply.I want to share some of the most life touching experiences I continue to see/cross in my current career.I have come to appreciate life in a very significant manner.I have also realized I want to tell my story to someone...may be the internet...all I know is that I need an outlet.I dont want to be overwhelmed. I may use initials or just first names for Privacy and in compliance with HIPAA laws.
Last week I took care of a young man.He was in the Neuro ICU, Picture this. 18 year old AA handsome young man who was in good shape just started feeling tired, fatigued and then abdominal pain. He decided to go to the ER and he lost all his reflexes.The boy was diagnosed with Guillan Barre Syndrome. This is a very rare disease and it is possible to either come out of it or not.Your own immune system by mistake starts attacking your nervous system. The diaphram is a muscle and with the progressing weakness he could no longer breath well and was intubated.He is now on life support. He happens to have a beautiful young girl.God plans our life in an amazing way.How many 18 yr old boys have kids? Few. He was actually taking care of his daughter and his girlfriend. I hold life very dear to my heart. I was getting stressed when things dont go the way I want them, but now I appreciate my life.I see the bright side of most things and hope for the better. Eli* I hope you get better. I'm praying for you.

The other one was early this year.This lady in her 50's to be precise she was about 55.My mom is the same age.She was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer.Why.... why does it take you to be dying before they can diagnose Ovarian Cancer...its a horrible form of cancer.You never know when u have it...oh well I had 2 patients that day. Next door was this puerto rican boy. He was 25 yrs old. This boy went to Cancun with his friends over december.Came back and was in his bedroom when he started having blurry vision.Decided to tell his mom and by the time he got downstairs he was already having a serious headache. Came to the hosp and was diagnosed with a stage 4 cancerous brain tumor. Imagine having fun in a foreign land and after getting home you have no idea what life could turn to...... The truth-I was a nervous wreck that day taking care of the 2.The 55 yr old was like my mother and the 25 yr old felt like me.The Indian Lady with Ovarian cancer was a Neurologist...a DR....she died 2 days later..R.I.P. the puerto Rican boy is still living but his time is running out...he's been in the ICU for 4 months now. For that matter I appreciate life,I take in a different way...